Wedding cocktail hour music

Both work. They do different jobs.

Published Michigan cost figures for cocktail-hour coverage are in our wedding DJ cost guide.

When live music is worth it

Choose live music if your guests will be standing and mingling rather than seated, if the setting is part of the experience, like a lawn, a vineyard terrace or a barn porch, or if you want the night to feel like it has already started. A singer with a guitar gives people a reason to drift over.

When a playlist is fine

A playlist works if cocktail hour is short, indoors and busy with appetisers and a photo booth, or if you'd rather put the budget into the reception. If you go this way, make sure someone is responsible for starting it, setting the volume and checking it doesn't run out or stop mid-song. A DJ can do this as part of the reception booking.

Most cocktail hours run 45 to 75 minutes. With an average song length of three to four minutes, that's:

• 45 minutes: about 12 to 15 songs
• 60 minutes: about 15 to 20 songs
• 75 minutes: about 19 to 25 songs

Plan more than you need. A list of 20 to 30 songs gives room to skip anything that doesn't suit the mood, and covers a cocktail hour that stretches while the photographer finishes family photos, which happens more often than not.

Quieter than most people expect. The rule we use: guests standing a few feet from the music should be able to talk at a normal speaking voice. If people are leaning in or raising their voices, it's too loud. If people at the far side of the space can't tell what's playing, it's too quiet.

A few things make a difference:

• Where the music sits. Not next to the bar, where the queue forms, and not right beside the door, where people stop to greet each other. A corner or the edge of the space works best.
• The room. Barns with timber roofs, ballrooms with hard floors and tents all carry sound differently. Hard surfaces make everything louder; grass and open air swallow it.
• Older guests. They often sit down first, and near the music. Keep the volume where they can still talk.
• The build. Cocktail hour can lift gently toward the end so the room is ready for your entrance into the reception.

The best cocktail-hour music is familiar enough that guests smile when they recognise it, but relaxed enough that it doesn't take over the conversation. These are ideas couples often choose, sorted by mood.

Acoustic covers of songs everyone knows

The most popular choice for live cocktail hours. Pop and rock songs, slowed and stripped back, feel fresh without being unfamiliar.

• Valerie, Amy Winehouse
• Dreams, Fleetwood Mac
• Wonderwall, Oasis
• Mr. Brightside, The Killers (slowed down)
• Rocket Man, Elton John
• Sweet Disposition, The Temper Trap

Motown and soul

A natural fit for a Michigan wedding, and a crowd-pleaser across every age group.

• My Girl, The Temptations
• I Heard It Through the Grapevine, Marvin Gaye
• Isn't She Lovely, Stevie Wonder
• The Tracks of My Tears, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
• Stand by Me, Ben E. King
• Lovely Day, Bill Withers

Jazz standards and crooners

Classic and elegant, especially for a ballroom, a hotel or a black-tie wedding.

• The Way You Look Tonight, Frank Sinatra
• Fly Me to the Moon, Frank Sinatra
• L-O-V-E, Nat King Cole
• Sway, Dean Martin
• Feeling Good, Nina Simone
• Moondance, Van Morrison

Soft rock and summer songs

Easy, sunny and good for an outdoor cocktail hour on a lawn or a deck by the lake.

• Kokomo, The Beach Boys
• Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett
• Sailing, Christopher Cross
• Steal My Sunshine, Len
• Three Little Birds, Bob Marley and the Wailers
• Free Fallin', Tom Petty

Indie and folk

Warm and relaxed, ideal for barn and farm weddings.

• Ho Hey, The Lumineers
• Riptide, Vance Joy
• Home, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
• Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson
• Budapest, George Ezra
• Island in the Sun, Weezer

Country

• Wagon Wheel, Old Crow Medicine Show (and Darius Rucker's version)
• Take Me Home, Country Roads, John Denver
• Tennessee Whiskey, Chris Stapleton
• Jolene, Dolly Parton
• Fast Car, Tracy Chapman (and Luke Combs's version)

Piano instrumentals

If your venue has a piano, instrumental versions of pop songs make an elegant, low-key backdrop that never competes with conversation.

Whether it's a live set or a playlist, a few simple rules make cocktail hour feel planned rather than random.

• Start gentle. Guests are arriving from the ceremony, finding drinks and greeting each other. The first fifteen minutes should be the softest of the hour.
• Mix the eras. Your guest list probably spans sixty years. A Motown classic, a 90s favourite and something current in the same stretch means everyone hears something they know.
• Mid-tempo beats slow. Slow ballads can make a standing crowd feel subdued. Songs with an easy groove keep people chatting and moving between groups.
• Avoid your big songs. Keep your first dance, parent dances and the songs you've planned as dance-floor moments out of cocktail hour, so they land fresh later.
• Add a few personal touches. The song from your first date, a family favourite, or a nod to where you met. Guests who know the story will notice.
• Mind the words. Cocktail hour is quiet enough for lyrics to be heard. Skim the words of anything you don't know well, especially with children and grandparents in the room.
• Pass on your do-not-play list. If there are songs you never want to hear, they apply to cocktail hour too.

Cocktail hour happens in more places than any other part of the day, and Michigan venues use a lot of different spaces for it.

• Lawns and patios. Common at farm venues around Ann Arbor, like Revel Run in Chelsea, and at golf clubs. Plan for shade, wind and a rain backup for the music.
• Barn porches and lofts. Often close to the reception space, which makes it easy for the music to move inside when dinner is called.
• Lakeside terraces up north. Summer evenings in Northern Michigan stay light late, so cocktail hour often happens in golden light. Ask about wind and power by the water.
• Hotel foyers and pre-function rooms. Common in Detroit ballrooms while the main room is set. These are often busy, echoey spaces where volume matters most.

Cocktail hour is the hinge of the day, and it's where gaps tend to appear: the ceremony musician packs up, the DJ is still setting up, and guests walk into silence. Planning it as one thread avoids that.

That's why we like to plan all three together when couples want it, working from one plan. At Zingerman's Cornman Farms in Dexter, Dave sang through cocktail hour and then DJ'd the reception, so the music carried straight through.

Wedding storyBrian & Yu-ju Zingerman's Cornman Farms, Dexter · 2018See the wedding